It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
