normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
