if i can run in heels then i can drive
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
