Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
did i just pee glitter
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
