he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i drank out of a bidet.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
