but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
