this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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