Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
