champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize