im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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