If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
