It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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