you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
