I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
