i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
