I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
