It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
