whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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