Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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