I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
