i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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