I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
