I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
