I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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