Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
What did we do last night that was yellow?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Randomize
