do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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