i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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