why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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