the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just gargled with NyQuil
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
