i don't plan on having that self control this summer
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
