Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The adults are the big ones right?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
