I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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