they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
