I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
