Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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