next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
