Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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