she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize