Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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