So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
