I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
vagina is talking i cant
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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