He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
