My girlfriend figured out who you are.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
