I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
