i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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