I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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