nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
