Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My vagina just recognized that song.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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