It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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