lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
