I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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