im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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