wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
