I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
