Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I need moral support for this bender
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
